Everything Golf From A-Z.

#15 - "My swing is so bad, I look like a caveman killing his lunch" - Lee Trevino

#14 - "Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose" - Winston Churchill

#13 - "If you wish to hide your character, do NOT play golf" - Percey Boomer

#12 - "Golf is a good walk spoiled" - Mark Twain

#11 - "Don’t be too proud to take lessons… I’m not" - Jack Nicklaus

#10 - "I get to play golf for a living.  What more can you ask for - getting paid for what you love!" - Tiger Woods

#9 - "Golf is assuredly a mystifying game.  It would seem that if a person has hit a golf ball correctly a thousand times, he should be able to duplicate the performance at will.  But such is certainly not the case." - Bobby Jones

#8 - "A great shot is when you pull it off. A smart shot is when you don’t have the guts to try it." - Phil Mickelson

#7 - "It took me 17 years to get 3000 hits in baseball. It took one afternoon on the golf course." - Hank Aaron

#6 - "Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off" - Chi Chi Rodriguez

#5 - "They call it golf, because all the other Four Letter Words were taken" - Raymond Floyd

#4 - "Mulligan… invented by an Irishman who wanted to hit one more twenty yard grounder." - Jim Bishop

#3 - "If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightening, hold up a 1-iron.  

Not even GOD can hit a 1 iron" - Lee Trevino

#2 - "Happiness is a long walk with a putter" - Greg Norman

#1 - "So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over the Himalayas.  A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock.

So I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me?

The Dalai Lama himself… Twelfth son of the Lama.

The flowing robes… the grace… bald… striking.

So I’m on the first tee with him.  I give him the driver.  He hauls off and whacks one…

Big Hitter — The Lama… Long untie a ten thousand foot crevasse, right on the base of this glacier.

Do you know what the Lama Says?

“Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-galunga”

So we finish the 18th, and he’s gonna stiff me…

And I say, “Hey Lama, hey… How about a little something…

You know, for the effort, you know?”

And he says, “Oh, uh…

There won’t be any money, but when you die…

On your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness”

So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice"

- Carl Spackler, Greens Keeper Caddyshack (Bill Murray)